Crazy Conspiracy Theories That Came Straight From The Insane Asylum

1. Saved by The Bell is an Illuminati Plot

Daffy 90’s teen sitcom, Saved By The Bell, is famous for it’s semi-serious tone, character Zac Morris’s ability to stop time, and it painfully early 90’s vibe. It was hugely successful and is fondly remembered by both Gen X and Millennials. It is also regularly rated as one of the best shows for its target audience. And of course, it was a tool of the Illuminati to spread Satanism, control the population and generally further the nefarious ends of the shadowy organisation. There are also apparently an unnaturally high number of triangles on the show, which, as any self-respecting tin-foil hat wearing citizen knows, is a sure sign that the Illuminati are at work. This website has much more information (`1).

2. Paul Is Dead or The Beatles Never Existed

Most of you will be familiar with the old theory that Paul McCartney was killed in a car crash just as the Beatles were making it big in 1962. He was replaced with a look-a-like and the band’s song are peppered with backward messages and lyrical clues as to the true story. It is said that the cover of the Abbey Road LP is even a symbolic funeral for Paul, with the bandmembers taking various roles in the ceremony. That’s bad enough, but another theory states that the Beatles never existed at all. That the entire band was made of look-a-likes and that if you compare the photos of the band over the years, you can see great changes in comparable heights, eyebrow shapes and ear lobes. Don’t believe me? Then look at this guy’s website:

 3. Ice Bucket Challenge is Satanic

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge pretty much owned the internet in 2014. Everyone rushed to post videos of themselves getting soaked in icy water, and nominating others for the challenge, all the while raising money for research into ALS, and was astonishingly successful, raising an additional $41m in donations during the year. Even Donald Trump took part, although President Obama did not. But the real purpose behind the charity event was to baptise people into the Church of Satan. The recruitment drive, cleverly disguised as a way of helping people with a crippling disease, was to pave the way for the return of the Antichrist. Obviously. Many people believe this, and You Tube is the place to check out their detailed and balanced evidence. Like this lady:

4. Agenda 21

Back in 1992, the United Nations held the Earth Summit in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. It was an attempt to get the governments of the world to take serious the issues related to sustainable development and the preservation of the world’s various cultures. It resulted in a non-binding international action plan for the UN, other global bodies, and national governments. The plan, with the unhelpfully Orwellian name of Agenda 21, could be executed at state or local level and the UN set up the Commission on Sustainable Development to provide a forum where participants could discuss how they were implementing the plan. That is the official story. According to the American Policy Center, a far-right ‘think tank’ run by a PR man, Agenda 21 was nothing less than “a new kind of tyranny that, if not stopped, will surely lead us to a new Dark Ages of pain and misery yet unknown to mankind”. It is an anti-human policy aimed at destroying Western civilisation and creating the New World Order – a global government of the elite. Crazy is as crazy does. But since the early nineties, a number of US states have tried to ban any action related to Agenda 21.

 5. Robert Kardashian and Ted Cruz

Something about Ted Cruz attracts the crazy. Depending on who you listen to, the junior senator from Texas is either the son of the man who shot JFK (and that man was not Lee Harvey Oswald, of course), or he was the Zodiac killer who terrorised San Francisco in the seventies. But Ted Cruz is not Ted Cruz any way. According to the website,, Ted Cruz is the late Robert Kardashian. Kardashian was a lawyer and friend of OJ Simpson, who may have helped the disgraced football star dispose of key evidence about the murder of Simpson’s wife. He was also the father of Kim Kardashian and Ko. Officially Robert died in 2003, but because he kinda, sorta looks like Ted Cruz, they must be the same person, right? Right. The story peddled by those who believe it is that the lawyer faked his death to escape any criminal liability relating to his involvement with OJ, and he instead took himself off to Texas and rose to be a prominent lawyer taking cases before the US Supreme Court, and then a US Senator. That’s called keeping a low profile. specialises in the X looks a bit like Y so therefore X is Y conspiracy craziness. But who knows, maybe they got this one right.

6. Californian Drought and Chem Trails

For those unable to understand elementary physics, the vapor trails left by high-flying jet aircraft are clearly a sign that the government is trying to control everyone’s minds, or poison everyone, or, according to the rational folk at to control the environment and cause California to undergo the worst drought in living memory. The contrails, sorry, CHEMtrails are some unidentified toxins pumped into the atmosphere by the government for purposes which are rather unclear. It all appears to be linked to climate change and possibly now the Las Vegas shooting. Honestly, it’s all so complicated and murky that I’m sure it must be true.

7. The Earth is (Still) Flat

 It is widely believed that prior to the voyages of Ferdinand Magellan and his merry men in the sixteenth century, most people believed the earth was flat. That is not true. From the times of the ancient Greeks people had made observations about the night sky that led some to conclude that the earth was spherical. And from the time of the internet there are still an alarmingly large number of people convinced that the earth is and always was flat and that so-called ‘evidence’ such as seeing the damn thing from space has been faked. The crusade against reality is led by the Flat Earth Society who have become quite adept at finding implausible explanations to avoid the obvious. Well done guys!

8. The Dinosaurs Built the Pyramids

This might be my favorite theory of all time. Vince Fenech, one-time director of the logically challenged Accelerated Christian Academy in Malta is firmly of the view, not shared by all religious fundamentalists, that the dinosaurs were in fact real. There is no doubt that they co-existed with man, and co-operated in the building of the Pyramids by doing all the heavy lifting, According to Fenech, it is all detailed in the Book of Job. As a bonus, this website ( claims that a pyramid discovered in the Ukraine was built in the Jurassic period. That’s before there were dinosaurs. I cannot wait for the debate between Mr Fenech and the Ukraine pyramid folk as they use razor sharp logic to determine who helped the humans build the Ukraine pyramid before the era of dinosaurs. My hot take is that it was probably time travelling triceratopses.

9. Denver Airport and the New World Order.

As any fool knows, the global New World government is run from the departure lounge at Denver International Airport. The location is great for surreptitious mind control and tax-free shopping. The present airport was built in 1995 and abounds in strange design features (apparently if you look at the airport from the air in the right way, the runways look like a swastika) and frankly terrifying art (including the massive Blue Mustang, which killed its sculptor by falling on him). Other features include bunkers for the New Work Order to hide out during the apocalypse, some Nazi-glorifying murals, and the HQ of the ever present Illuminati (adding the numbers in the completion date pf the airport together, gets you the number 33 which is the highest level of the Freemasons which is significant, maybe), Oh, and according to the plaque over the time capsule buried during construction, the consortium that built the airport were called the New World Airport Commission, so I think the case is clearly proved.

10. The Lizard People

David Icke ( is the godfather of the conspiracy community. A former soccer player and sports caster on the BBC, the Englishman announced in 1991 that he was the son of ‘the godhead’ and that he had to wear turquoise shell-suits to bring harmony to the world, or something. He also theorised, and then claimed that he had proved, that virtually all powerful people in the world were lizards in disguise. According to Icke, if you ever meet Queen Elizabeth and look closely at her eyes you will see reptilian pupils. That, coupled with her liking to sit on a rock under a heat lamp, is clearly evidence that the New World Order, and, yes, the Illuminati, are being run by Barney the Dinosaur. The theory is useful in bringing harmony where there is conflict, because it did not matter who won the 2016 presidential election as both Clinton and Trump are lizards.

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