Funny Stories

Hilarious Police Dispatch Reports

For most people a call to 911 is done because there is a dangerous situation taking place and they need a first responder to help them. It could be that they need an ambulance for a lifesaving reason or the fire department to save their home. Sadly a tiny minority of people among us seem to think that 911 is a number you call for anything that bothers you. Additionally there are just some plain old stupid people who when confronted by the police refuse to help themselves by remaining silent.Thankfully we seem to have police officers and dispatch personnel with good senses of humor and don’t mind the occasional ‘off the wall’ 911 report.

1. That’s not how that works dude.

2. And we know this because the officer questioned them?

3. Lesson of the day? Clean your glasses before you resort to calling 911.

4. Off to a great start eh?

5. Yet another judge with bad judgement.

6. A BB gun could solve this problem….just sayin’.

7. I’d like to see the officer’s body cam footage for proof.

8. Another caller with dirty glasses perhaps?

9. Here’s a group of people who need some glasses.

10. That must have been one big burrito.

11. The police believed this story?

12. That time the LOL got someone arrested.

 13. And in other news local store sells out of tin foil.

14. He got off easy.

15. So, did the police make him take a shower? I need closure to this.

16. And???

17. Sometimes you just can’t help yourself.

18. Chocolate covered mushrooms sound good to eat why?

19. Glad her answer made it into the report.

20. Perhaps it was a suggestion for a New Year’s resolution?

21. Just normal Canadian behavior? I gotta visit Canada.

22. Better its cats than ghosts.

23. How tall was that curb?

24. Sounds like an interior decorator broke into her house.

25. What it looks like when you lose all communication with your spouse.

26. It was the rolling pin that gave it away….really?

27. And….problem solved.

28. Someone get that kid some glasses please.

29. Are we sure the caller doesn’t live on Sesame Street?

30. Exactly what does a coin have to do to be “suspicious”?

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